


Don't Listen to the Voices

by under_the_blue_moonlight



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 07:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14350650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/under_the_blue_moonlight/pseuds/under_the_blue_moonlight
Summary: Thomas is acting weirdly, and the clues point to Logan being extremely troubled. However, he’s nowhere near ready to open up.





	Don't Listen to the Voices

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this on my Tumblr for the Fanders Angst Challenge, but I've decided to post it here too.

‘What is up everybody?!’ Thomas Sanders yelled his usual intro in an upbeat fashion. ‘So, welcome to another video, I guess... It’s weird though. Usually I feel excited to film, but today, I just feel... sad.’

‘Sad? Do you need blankets, hugs, cookies?’

‘Who do I need to kill?!’

‘What did you do wrong? What did we do wrong?’

‘Whoa, hey!’ Thomas looked between the embodiments of his morality, creativity and anxiety after they rose into the room. ‘I don’t need any of those things, Patton. Roman, no one needs to die. And, Virgil, I didn’t do anything. I just... feel down.’

Roman turned to Patton. ‘What’s wrong, Patton? You’re the core of Thomas’ feelings. What’s bothering you?’

‘Nothing, I’m good!’ Patton shrugged. ‘I’m just your usual happy pappy Patton!’

‘Pat, you’re not just bottling up again, are you?’ Virgil asked, raising an eyebrow at the dad side. ‘We’ve gone over this, it’s not healthy.’

‘No, I mean it!’ Patton replied. ‘I’m fine.’

‘Fine. Virgil, what about you?’ Roman turned to the emo side.

‘Well, I’m as good as the literal embodiment of anxiety can be,’ Virgil shrugged. ‘So... I’m not okay (I promise).’

‘Yeah, he’s not the problem,’ Thomas nodded.

‘But then who is?’ Roman asked.

‘Um, I can’t help but notice that there seems to be someone missing,’ Patton observed, pointing to the spot on the other side of the camera. It was only then that Thomas, Roman and Virgil noticed that the embodiment of Thomas’ logic was absent from his spot stood next to the stairs.

‘Thomas,’ Virgil turned back to their host. ‘What’s two plus two?’

‘Twenty two,’ Thomas replied.

‘That’s... bad,’ Roman winced at the horribly incorrect answer.

‘Does... does that mean there’s something wrong with Logan?’ Patton asked, worried.

‘Only one way to find out!’ Roman replied, lifted his hand to summon the logical side. No one appeared. ‘That’s... weird. Let me try again!’ He did so. Nothing.

‘Let me try.’ Virgil tried his hand at summoning Logan. Again, nothing happened.

‘Leave it to me. I’m a professional at this,’ Thomas said. He raised his hand and whacked himself in his head. ‘Ow!’

‘Patton?’ Virgil turned to the final side yet to try, a look of desperation on his face, fearing that Thomas’ lack of common sense would get worse.

‘I-I’ll try.’ Patton attempted to summon Logan. Nothing happened. ‘Come on! Please, Logan!’ he mumbled to himself, hoping he’d be heard, before trying one last time.

Logan rose into his spot, surprised at the sudden summoning. As he registered the other four in the room, he stood up straight, putting his hands together behind his back, so his forearms were out of view. However, he couldn’t hide his eyes from the other four, which were red and slightly puffy.

‘I’m sorry I did not come sooner. What is the problem you’re facing today, Thomas?’ Logan asked.

‘You’re the problem!’ Roman yelled.

‘I’m sorry?’ Logan inquired.

‘Now, Roman, we don’t need to be so forward. You’re coming off a bit mean, here,’ Patton scolded the prince. He turned to Logan. ‘LO, WHAT’S THE MATTER?! DO YOU NEED A HUG? YOU CAN TALK TO ME, I CAN HELP YOU WITH YOUR EMOTIONS!’

Logan furrowed his eyebrows. ‘Am I missing some important information?’

‘Thomas, what’s nine plus ten?’ Virgil asked.

‘Twenty one,’ Thomas replied.

‘Oh no... It’s worse than we thought. He’s referencing dead memes,’ Roman ran a hand through his hair.

‘No, the answer’s twenty one.’ Thomas turned to Logan. ‘Right?’

‘No. It’s nineteen,’ Logan replied.

Virgil just gestured to Thomas, looking at Logan. ‘Looks like he’s got some broken logic. So, something’s wrong with you.’

‘We know you’re damaged,’ Roman added. ‘Really damaged.’

‘No. I’m not physically hurt in any way. At all,’ Logan replied, eyes darted to the floor. No one except him heard the deep laugh in the background.

‘We don’t mean physically, Lo,’ Patton corrected. ‘We mean emotionally.’

‘Preposterous,’ Logan replied. ‘I am logic. Emotions are not my forte.’

‘But that doesn’t mean you don’t have them,’ Virgil countered. ‘Saying your apathetic is like saying I shouldn’t be able to feel anything other than anxiety, and we know that’s not true.’

‘Logan, something’s obviously wrong, you can’t hide it. Please,’ Patton begged, ‘just tell us so we can help- ‘

‘FALSEHOOD!’ Logan screeched at top of his lungs, even louder than he usually yelled it. Unlike other times he yelled the same word, this one was chilling, bringing a silence over the other three sides and Thomas that they couldn’t dare break. ‘I am fine! Whatever’s going on with Thomas has nothing to do with me! Now, if you don’t mind, I was in the middle of- ’

‘Logan...’ Patton cut across the teacher side. ‘What happened to your wrists?’

Logan froze before quickly moving his arms behind him again. ‘I have no idea what you are talking about.’

‘You’re wrists, they’re cut!’ Patton explained. ‘They’re bleeding.’

‘I...’

‘Logan...’ Virgil, a look of terror on his face, looked up at his logical counterpart. ‘Where did you get those cuts?’

‘I don’t know. I guess they must be from an accident from one of my experiments,’ Logan replied.

‘Ahahaha- OW!’

‘Ouch!’ Patton yelped, jumping to the side as another side attempt to rise up into his spot.

Deceit stood up straight and fixed his bowler hat, before finishing his evil laugh. ‘Oh, Logan, you’re such a hypocrite. Last video, didn’t you tell Thomas not to lie to himself? Now, you’re doing exactly that.’

‘So he’s not lying to us?’ Roman asked.

‘No, I...’ Deceit sighed. ‘Yes, I do lie a lot, it’s in my name, but that doesn’t mean everything I say is a lie. I do tell the truth sometimes.’

‘But what if that’s a lie?’ Thomas asked.

Deceit sighed, face palming. ‘Fine. Let me start over: Logan _definitely didn’t_ cut himself.’

Roman gasped, Patton’s eyes welled up with tears and Virgil was torn between yelling at Deceit to leave and asking Logan why he lied. Thomas was the only one to see Logan sink out.

‘Logan, why did you- ?!’ Roman paused seeing that the logical side had disappeared.

‘Shit,’ Virgil cursed.

‘Well, my work is done. I will not be back some day.’ Deceit sunk out, smirking.

‘Wh-what do we do?!’ Patton asked.

‘We have to go talk to him,’ Virgil replied. ‘Thomas won’t be able stand having broken logic. And I mean literally. Logan is everything Thomas has ever learnt. So, if he keeps hurting himself, Thomas will eventually forget how to talk, walk and stand.’

‘Let’s go to Logan’s room!’ Thomas yelled. ‘I don’t want to lose all my motor functions.’

‘Wait!’ Patton stepped forward and reached around the camera in the centre and grabbed something from Logan’s spot. ‘It’s his vocab cards.’

‘Great, we can give them to him when we go see him, now let’s go!’ Roman tried to convince them to go.

‘Hold on a second...’ Patton pulled out a bunch of cards from the stack in his hands. These ones were different, as they were on blue paper, not white. ‘Oh god...’

‘What is it?’ Virgil asked.

‘ “You are an important asset to Thomas’ personality”, “Without you, Thomas wouldn’t be able to function”, “They may not say it... ever... but the others appreciate you”, “You’re the smartest of the sides”, “You don’t need to be the fan favourite, you’re good enough”,’ Patton read out different phrases on the blue cards. ‘ “Don’t listen to the voices”, “Don’t listen to the voices”, “Don’t listen to the voices”, “Don’t listen to the voices”. It just says that over and over...’

‘Jesus Christ...’

‘Oh my god...’

‘Odin’s eyepatch...’

‘There’s a red card, too,’ Patton continued. He read it in his head, tears beginning to fall. He swallowed the lump in his throat before reading it aloud, voice wavering slightly.

‘ “You can try lying to yourself all you want, you can’t escape the truth”. And... and under that, h-he’s written: “Yes I can. I’m sorry, Thomas, Roman, Virgil, Patton. If your reading this, it’s too late.’

Just as Patton finished reading the card, Thomas collapsed to the ground, incoherent jumbles of nonsense spewing from his mouth.

Roman sunk out fast, heading to Logan’s room as quickly as he could.

Virgil was shaking, and his breathing gained pace, starting to have a panic attack.

Patton was silent for a few seconds before breaking down into sobs and cries.

Logan was gone, the only sign of him ever existing being the cards in Patton’s hands.


End file.
